You Might Be At A Redneck Racetrack If …
The race cars have gun racks.
The drivers wear Nomex bib overalls.
The pace car was made by Massey-Ferguson.
The trophy queen has a chew in her lip.
The cars have bras on them, but the women don’t.
The races are cancelled because the light bulb burned out.
There is corn growing inside the backstretch.
The racing fuel comes in Mason jars.
The trophy queen could win a blue ribbon at the county fair.
You cant use the restroom until the water truck comes back.
The restroom attendant hands you a flashlight and points toward the woods.
The restroom doors have quarter moons cut in them
Next weeks concession stand menu is grazing just beyond turn three.
The infield is kept mowed by the track owners goats.
The P.A. system was borrowed from the local McDonalds drive-thru.
There has ever been a caution period caused by a farm animal.
The biggest crowd of the year is on Revenuer Forgiveness Night.
The only snack items on the menu are pork rinds, pigs feet and hog jowls.
The sign at the front gate says No Shoes, No Shirt?…NO PROBLEM, come-on in!
There are 2000 people in the grandstands and only a total of 37 teeth on the front row.
The entrance fee to race is two chickens.
The highlight of the season is the annual appearance of the World of Inbreds.
The announcer pages Bubba to the track office, and the grandstands empty.
The race car transporters in the pits are made by John Deere.
There’s a five car crash, and the cars look better after it.
The Late Model division is dominated by Bo and Luke.
The wrecker needs a tow truck.
The debris fence is made of baling wire and twine and is electrified.
They play Dueling Banjos during driver introductions.
The race cars have fenders, but the street cars do not.
The local bass boats have more horsepower than the race cars.
The numbers in the pill draw only go up to three.
The race cars have steer horns on the hoods.
The spectators think OsCal 500 is a big NASCAR race.
In-car communication is provided by CB radios.
The scorers use their toes.
There is a splinter removal station just outside the restroom.
The crowd thinks asphalt means someone’s pants aren’t pulled all the way up.
The payoff was eaten by the goats (on the infield).
The fire truck has to be hand cranked to start.
They pass the collection plates between the consi and the feature.
The track announcer concludes the evening by saying, Ya’ll come back now, yâ hear!
The announcer uses first names because everyone in the field has the same last name!
The checkered flag was changed to a confederate flag